Reply to Husband of 10 years says he doesn’t want kids or a suburban life

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[quote=Anonymous]There are two issues here that should not be conflated but must be worked through. Does he really not want to be a parent at all? That’s primary and needs to be discussed maybe with a counselor. Natural to have mixed feelings or fears but if he’s really checked out that’s not great for anyone.

The suburban question has been answered. But it’s important that you discuss this and that he understands having a child does not necessarily mean loss of all trappings I’d urban life etc but it is a life change and requires giving up some freedoms.

If I could do it all over I would have one child . I hate the big suburban house and all the driving and stupid stuff we buy and the fact is my kids don’t get along, we are not some big happy family wheee the kids entertain each other . But spouse wanted it all and of course I love both my kids. It’s just I see the appeal of a simpler life. I think too one child has a more adult centered life. Two or more kids the family is child centered. Maybe I’m a bit selfish. But maybe also I had a weird unhappy childhood and a small dysfunctional family so I don’t know how to do the warm fuzzy Christmas morning big family things. Important that OP learn about why spouse is resistant or fearful. [/quote]

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