Reply to Husband of 10 years says he doesn’t want kids or a suburban life

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I really didn’t want kids.  My wife did.  We delayed for a long time and eventually it was time to either have kids or not.  I was secretly more against it than I let on.  When she got pregnant I hid how disappointed I was that our old (very fun, jet setting) life was over.

Fast forward a few years and I can’t imagine going back.  It was a rough transition and I do miss the ability to jump on a plane with a few days notice or just go out to dinner after work with my wife or others and not have anything to figure out.

I stepped up immediately out of a sense of duty and eventually because I really wanted to.

No one could tell ny original concerns because I am extremely good at masking my feelings and I know how to handle them.  But I felt devastated at the time and now it seems so silly.

I think a lot of people are like this but won’t admit it, even anonymously.[/quote]

At least you hid your feelings. My sister is currently pregnant with their first and her DH has been breaking down and having panic attacks because he's sad their carefree life will be over. He apparently wanted the kid too. I get that it is a huge transition, but my sister should not be dealing with his breakdowns while pregnant.  [/quote]

I am the mom and I had this feeling of grief. Why is it any less legit if it's coming from a dad?

Tell him it is truly possible to have some semblance of carefree fun life after a kid but you have to stop at *a* kid (one). And you have to have some disposable income (not as much as DCUM thinks). And you have to really prioritize your marriage and individual identities, which most moms laughably fail at doing.[/quote]

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