Reply to Trying to get over husband’s affair

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Jesus Christ it’s only been six weeks and you’re already having sex with him?

I don’t care if there’s some way you could magically know whether is intention was really to leave or stay. He said horrible, humiliating things about you to another woman that he was banging, all while being cruel to you at home. That is a place that I could never come back from. I could perhaps come back from the sex piece, but not cruel words about me to the woman he’s sleeping with on the side. Zero respect.

I know this sounds harsh. But you do NOT deserve what he’s done to you. I think affairs can be recovered from in some cases, but this is beyond the pale. [/quote]

Yes, it’s actually the things he said versus the sex itself that’s been the hardest.  They included:

He was repulsed by me
Not emotionally invested ever 
Never wanted to marry me 
Stayed as we have a child with a disease 
She was “put in his path” so he could finally get the courage to leave 
I was over-weight (I’m attractive but 53 and have had about ten stubborn extra pounds during menopause) 
He was seeing a therapist to try to figure out how to tell me 
He was in love with her - his words 
He pursued her pretty aggressively I’d say she was hesitant due to him being married

[/quote]

Why would you want to stay with this man? Don't you have any self esteem? I wouldn't say such cruel things about my worst enemy. [/quote]

GIVE IT A REST.  Trying to preserve your family does not mean you have no self esteem.  What OP’s husband did reflects on HIM not her.  She can take all the time and space to decide what comes next.  It takes away women’s power when strangers decide what the right action is.[/quote]

But frankly if OP isn’t a troll it kind of makes you wonder what kind of character SHE has that she’s willing to continue entertaining and sleeping with a man of such low morals and standards. Yes, his actions reflect on him, but at some point you’re only as good as the company you keep. [/quote]

Not a troll.  I’m pretty confident of my character.  I love my husband, we are trying to make it work, that should be reason enough, it is to me.  Doesn’t mean intimacy has been easy at this juncture, but it certainly not done to “win him back” or any other degrading motives. [/quote]

OP you sound super in denial. Your husband is not a good man and you know this somewhere deep down. If you chose to continue loving a bad man and one who has been so cruel to you, snickering about you with his AP about how ugly you are and how much he dislikes you, then you are signing yourself up for many more years of desperate and heartbroken posts. These things never turn out well, and your love for him isn’t enough to carry the day. Perhaps your feels for him are more important than the way he treats others, including you. That’s your choice to make and your choice alone. [/quote]

Seriously this sounds like a current OW hoping you kick him out because sees rooting for the AP ending up with the h,

The post is that out of bounds of normal thinking.[/quote]

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