Reply to Trying to get over husband’s affair

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, why are you having sex with him?  It's the last thing you should be giving him right now.[/quote]

Why do you think it's giving instead of taking?[/quote]

DP. The OP said she's having difficulty having/enjoying sex with him because during sex, she cannot stop thinking about his having sex with the OW. So OP is not doing some empowered "I'll have sex with him because I want it and I'll take what I want!" attitude. [/quote]

The 2 are not related [/quote]

That's a strange take. So you think she's sticking it to him, empowering herself and taking charge when she has sex with him? Even though she herself says it's unpleasant because the whole time she's thinking about him doing it to the OW? But you say those two things are "unrelated." They're very much related. It's not empowering, or a way of regaining your mojo and sway over a man if, while having sex, there is another person in your mind invading that intimacy every minute. It would be more empowering to say no to sex altogether and let him realize sex is a privilege -- not his right. [/quote]

If She is having sex because she wants sex it’s not giving it to him.

If she’s having sex “to give it to him” then it’s is giving it to him.

If I want sex buy them something negative comes up during sex.., dryness, bad thoughts, fatigue, inability to finish…, it’s related to the affair. It’s not related to wanting sex in spite of the affair.

Why give up sex ? Why deny yourself if you want it? To prove a point? That seems immature.

If she’s doing it “to kept him” yea stop that. But if she just want pleasure go for it… also get a vibrator.[/quote]

Well, there is some truth to not rewarding a man for bad behavior. I’m not saying she’s wrong for having a sex drive. But why should a man have any incentive to stop sleeping around? She’s staying, she’s putting out, he’s off the hook. [/quote]

A man stops cheating because he want to be a better person/father not because

His wife has sex with him
His wife loses weight
His wife doesn’t leave him
His wife “becomes a better wife”

The affair has nothing to do with the wife.[/quote]

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