Reply to Trying to get over husband’s affair

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t think the “I could never forgive that” comments from people who have NOT been through infidelity or some sort of betrayal are really helpful at all and I hope OP is taking them with a grain of salt.  You DO NOT know what you would do in this situation until it happens to you![/quote]

+1000.  Until you are actually in a situation, you have no idea what you would really do.  Talking from experience.

[/quote]

How have you missed all the posts from people who HAVE been betrayed commenting on their regrets on trying to make their marriages work or how much better their lives were after divorce?

I've gone through this and two of my kids have SN.  It was about 10 years ago.  We worked with a counselor and while I didn't have the same level confidence in the relationship that I did the first 10 years we were together, I thought our relationship was solid enough - even though, at times, I would get triggered by his actions/events.  Recently, my husband began exhibiting behaviors that I saw when he was in the midst of his betrayal 10 years ago.

I regret giving the marriage another chance. I regret not recognizing that something is broken in my husband that he could do this not only the first time but that he's doing it now.  I will be divorcing him as soon as I can get my ducks in a row.  I don't know what the right choice is for OP but my husband didn't bash me to his AP like OP's husband has.  My husband didn't have the same level of vitriol that OP's husband has communicated.  I couldn't have given my marriage a second chance if I had such concrete evidence of my husband's contempt for me - I mean, certainly banging another woman was an act of contempt but the words just take it to a whole 'nother level as does the truth trickle.[/quote]

I guess you have missed all the posts from people who have been betrayed and came out the other end with even stronger relationships.  I'm sorry you went through such a terrible time, but your situation is not indicative of anyone else's. [/quote]

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