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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]That’s tough OP.  I posted in the other affair thread.  It’s very early for you.  I was a wreck that close after.

Time.  Take time.  No rash decisions.  Your feelings will go in a million different directions.  I didn’t do marriage counseling and pretty much told him I was done.  He was in individual therapy to deal with himself and some depression.  Only at a point I was ready and I saw the change did I agree to MC.  It was like 7 months after.

My situation- I also contacted OW, but she actually said he never said a bad word about me.  His therapist told me he was always very highly complimentary.  I also was fortunate to never see a message, photo, etc.

Triggers are awful and every single show or movie we watch seems to have cheating.  Every single show. I’m mostly on the other side - 3.5 years later and one of the happier marriages, better communication and healthier spouse after dealing with their internal crap.

Here’s the thing everyone is different.  It’s quite possible he didn’t mean any of that but was part of the escape fantasy and needed to do to disassociate from you/mental gymnastics.  You won’t know for awhile.  It’s a long road and it can be very much worth it, or maybe not.  And that’s okay too.  But everyone told me 3-5 years is the timeframe for getting over and through this no matter which side you land.

I wish you the best.  You never deserved any of this.[/quote]

Thank you.  Very kind and wise post. [/quote]

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