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[quote=Anonymous]This is a more extreme version of a dynamic we have in my extended family. My kid is the younger cousin (8) who always wants to play with and follow around and share a room with the older cousin (10). Sleeping isn’t an issue as my kid loves his sleep so that’s a major difference. Another difference is my husband and I, as parents to the younger kid, observe them and notice when my 10 year old nephew starts getting annoyed by my son and we talk to our son and explain that he needs to give his cousin some space and help come up w alternate activities he can do w us or w his sibling or another family member.

I think you need to do a few things:
-let your daughter sleep w you since you already know sleep will be an issue if she shares a room w cousin. It’s miserable not being able to sleep due to a noisy roommate.
-talk to your daughter about strategies she can use/what she can say when she is tired of her cousin 
-talk w SIL and BIL and ask that they talk to your niece to help her understand when your daughter needs space to give her space. Fortunately for me in our situation my BIL and SIL have never needed to talk to us bc we are on top of it but if they did talk to us about this or something similar, I’d certainly take that to heart. I think as long as you approach it in a kind way that’s not blaming or accusing or judgmental of their parenting, they shouldn’t get offended and might actually try to implement what you suggest.

Alternately you can step in yourself and offer to play w your niece so you DD gets a break. [/quote]

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