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[quote=Anonymous]https://www.theonion.com/al-pacino-excited-to-spend-life-watching-his-baby-grow-1850496575

Al Pacino Excited To Spend Life Watching His Baby Grow Up To Be Toddler

BEVERLY HILLS, CA—Following reports that the 83-year-old actor was expecting a child with his girlfriend, Al Pacino told reporters Thursday that he was excited to spend his life watching his baby grow up to be a toddler. “I’m going to be there for all of it, from the first smile and laugh, all the way to the first time they string two words together,” said Pacino, who acknowledged that although 24 months may seem like “all the time in the world,” he still intended to cherish every moment with his child like it was his last. “I know I won’t be around forever, of course. One day there will come a day when the child is 3 or 4. But if I’ve done my job as a parent, they’ll hopefully know how to fend for themselves at that point.” [b]At press time, Pacino added that in the event the worst were to happen, Robert De Niro would serve as the child’s legal guardian.[/b]
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