Reply to Why isn’t it socially acceptable to say that you regret having kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Because for a child to hear his parents say that, or hear that his parent said that….would be one of THE most emotionally damaging things imaginable. [/quote]

Speaking as someone whose parents regretted me and whose parents expressed that by a transference wherein their regret became a family mythology in which I was a bad, no good, worthless, never could do anything right rotten kid and nobody could possibly love me I had better be prepared for that by my parents not loving me to begin with . . .

It would a billion times have preferred for them to have the maturity to say,[b] we love you dearly and think you are a wonderful human being and we are not sorry that you exist and we think you can accomplish great things in your life if you choose to - but we recognize that we should not have become parents and our failings are parents are a result of our shortcomings and not in anything that is wrong with you, dear child. [/b]Please forgive us our trespasses and take our advice, that you should think long and carefully about becoming a parent before you choose to do so yourself.

One of those approaches will make your life blighted for all time. The other is much more likely to give you some opportunity to believe yourself a valuable person who deserves to be in this world.[/quote]

I mean yeah, of course that’s preferable to the first option you mentioned…but it doesn’t particularly sound like that’s how they felt, anyways? And either way, even more preferable would be neither of the above…[/quote]

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