Reply to Why isn’t it socially acceptable to say that you regret having kids?

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "Why isn’t it socially acceptable to say that you regret having kids?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People are not good critical thinkers in today's society and incorrectly conflate "regretting the choice to become a parent" with "regretting the existence of one's beloved children as human beings." It's not the same. The former is about yourself. The latter is about the kid(s).

I do think it's becoming more socially acceptable to say it privately/anonymously. Reddit is full of these stories.

I think we all regretted it a bit during COVID lockdown, honestly.[/quote]

This is where I am.  If I had full disclosure about everything prior to having my children, I may not have made the same choice.  The loss of career, the CPTSD, the unusual additional costs, the years of intensity and stress that have taken their toll both mentally and physically and fact that after a quarter century there is still parenting to be done would weigh heavily on my decision.  It has been a very long slow slog. [/quote]

Hmm I'm assuming you're about my age and it just [b]boggles my mind that there are people who claim not to know anything of how difficult children and their care and keeping is.[/b]
That information is out there. I find people very often ignore it thinking it will be different for them, do and so is so dramatic, fomo, and it's just what mature people are supposed to do.[/quote]

I was clueless. Never changed a diaper before my child. They are expensive AF. Never considered school cost until it was rime for daycare AF. I just was no thinking about the logistics snd how things add up financially and mentally. Just because you were exposed early to this doesn’t mean others were.[/quote]

[b]It never ceases to amaze me how little thought most people give to these kinds of major life decisions.[/b]  It's hard to have sympathy for this kind of willful ignorance.  You really never gave it any thought?  [/quote]

This is a little unfair.  Most people have children.  Or at least most married couples do.   It seems like the typical thing to do.  Looking back I should have questioned having kids, but I thought that something literally everyone I know is doing must be okay.  I didn’t think that it would be easy or a breeze, but I also didn’t think I would regret it like I do.  I truly feel like an outlier.  I can tell even making lunch plans that I’m the only mom who doesn’t want to being her 6 year old to lunch.  The other moms seem to love the play dates, mommy/daughter lunches etc.  I just want to go to lunch with adults.  Again I had no idea.  [/quote]
I was 36 when I became a mom. This was a wanted, planned, hard to conceive child. I loved him from the second I found out I was pregnant. Ff 9 months and dh and I are sleeping the exhausted new parent sleep and the baby cries. We both woke up and said, "wtf were we thinking?!". The thing I didn't consider is how much I'd love this child and have an overpowering urge to protect him at all costs. I also realized I now had something to lose, a way to be hurt because his happiness meant so much to me. I didn't anticipate the loss of freedom and ability to socialize as I would like. I do not regret having kids, though. They are teens now and highly self sufficient and they don't need me like before. I have more free time than I can fill. In short, remember they grow up![/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics