Reply to AITA for not wanting DH to give MIL 4K to clear a debt

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would maybe just view it as $4k to not get divorced and keep the peace.  Your DH will likely hold it against you forever if not.

I would be concerned though this is just the start.  She really needs to have a job for a few years to save some money.  She likely only has a few more years of being able to truly work.  If you give her the 4k you may be enabling her to not work.  [/quote]

I was just coming to say the same thing.

By your own words your MIL is not a terrible person.

She's not begging you for it. And acting entitled 
Her crime is not doing what you think she should do.

The 4k is not going to ruin you.

Refusing and getting into nasty fights with your husband will cost you.

So what price are you willing to pay?[/quote]

See, I think it's better for OP's marriage in the long run to set some boundaries now. I'm not saying give MIL nothing, but if it's $4K now it'll be $6K next year. If it's either give my mom all our savings or I divorce you, then the marriage isn't worth having.

If OP's DH really will not back down on giving MIL money, then the DH is overdue for some very serious talk about how to downshift their own lifestyle to give more to MIL out of monthly income rather than savings. This family does not have enough saved and cannot afford to bail MIL out of her own bad decisions while also maintaining their current standard of living. DH needs to decide what he's willing to cut. I wouldn't even give her the $4K, I'd ask DH what he's willing to give up and give her exactly that.

And spare me the "she raised him" guilt. Lots of people work while raising children. And one reason for that is to save money and be financially secure. MIL has squandered an inheritance and gotten fired twice, and is unwilling to work *at all* except in a MLM that will likely take advantage of her in the end. There's way more bad choices here than a poor little SAHM who didn't understand the consequence of her SAHM-ing.[/quote]

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