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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For those who do accept help, do you have a discussion with your family members about their finances to be sure they can really afford it? I've heard of grandparents making offers they really shouldn't make because their friends were doing something similar. With the high cost of healthcare, poor recent return on investments, and long life expectancy, I worry some about people who are giving away what sometimes amounts to $100k+/year. Some think of it as an early inheritance gift they get to see the benefits from but I'd be careful accepting much without having a pretty good idea of their means. [/quote]

I wouldn’t worry about this unless I were a sibling who feels that my other sibling was taking too much.  Is that you?

Other than that, it’s really up to our parents to plan their own financial futures.  If they make a mistake and have been overly generous with their kids, it should have set the kids up to be in a better position to help them should they truly need it.

What an odd point to raise…[/quote]

Not the PP, but not necessarily such an odd point to raise.

SiL asked her parents to pay for DC1 private school tuition. They said no. Then she asked for down payment for a NYC apartment and they also said no. They did offer money towards down payment when she and her DH eventually moved out of city and bought a house. We also learned that the ILs opened 529s for SiL's 2 DCs.

Our kids do not have 529s from them - DH only recently learned his parents had done this for his sister. We've also learned that his parents may not have sufficient funds if they end up in a CCRC, AL, memory care, etc for an extended period of time. Some of that is due to the skyrocketing costs, not necessarily poor planning - if they were 10-15 years older, it probably would have been enough. Alas, now, they have enough probably if they are both in the same room, but not if they needed to be split due to diverging needs.

I don't think the down payment and the 529s would make a huge deal here, but we are relieved that DH's parents didn't pay for more for what SiL requested as he thinks there may have even been more.

[/quote]

So, I was right. It’s about a sibling thinking the other sibling is getting too much.  Classic.[/quote]

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