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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I just found out that my ILs would have given my kids money for college, but decided not to because they think the kids don’t visit enough.  We schlepped there twice a year for several days over holidays while the kids were growing up and were lucky if they came to us once a year (and stayed no more than 24 hours). Plus the ILs spend the entire summer abroad, when that’s the best time for us to visit due to school. Apparently they wanted more.

They have every right to make that decision.  Part of me thinks that if there are strings attached, maybe we’ve dodged a bullet. We can handle college on our own. [/quote]

The older I get the more I’m convinced the key to happiness is autonomy. Does it sting when your parents withhold support that you would have appreciated because you failed to meet their ever changing and unpredictable expectations? Yes.  Does it feel better when you look at your life and acknowledge how well you’re doing on your own?   Yep.  I may not be able to afford to give my child everything my parents gave me, but I am satisfied and at peace. Something my parents will never achieve.[/quote]

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