Reply to Phrase to get strangers to stop admonishing autistic child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I just want to say that I'm in a different group where moms are begging strangers to help be their "village". The example the mom gave was a child having a meltdown over not getting candy at the checkout line. The woman praised the cashier for also telling her child "no and you need to listen to your mom." Apparently the kid instantly stopped whining. In the comments people are so thrilled when strangers stop their kids from doing dangerous things at playgrounds, aren't playing nicely or are having tantrums.

Just wanted to throw that out because there are differing views and plenty of people wouldn't have minded the cashier saying that to your child.[/quote]

Are these parents of kids with autism?[/quote]

How would anyone know? And yes, I do think that many of the kids do have special needs.

I just mean that some people want help and some people don't. It's impossible to know which. I have been upset when strangers have not helped me in the past, but then I guess they've been yelled at by other moms. It's hard to win. [/quote]

How would anyone know? If you’re watching a child have SUCH an outsized over-reaction to something that you’re tempted to lecture someone else’s child because you think their behavior is WAY over the top (and perhaps you’re also thinking they are far too old to act the way they are acting), that’s a great clue! Sure, it could be that the parents are horrible, permissive people. But how about err on the side of caution or kindness and think, “wait. What if this child is having such a strange and out of control reaction to a really small thing because the child has special needs?”

It’s astonishing to me how often people post on DCUM and describe what is obviously special needs behavior and their post is just about how angry they are are the child or parent. They have never stopped to think that the child is struggling.[/quote]

Maybe OP has exaggerated the meltdown. Seems curious that it could be so outsized that multiple people said something and OP could hear every word over the screaming. Maybe it wasn't that strange and out of control because it is odd OP was so in tune to every comment being made from a few feet away given the cacophony described. [/quote]

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