Reply to I got an email telling me my daughter is a mean girl.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would discuss it with your daughter. I don't know why you'd worry about it upsetting her -- as long as you stay empathetic and supportive of her, this is just something she should be able to deal with.

I also think there's a vast difference between being expected to "be everyone's friend" and being expected to treat everyone with kindness, and I'd have a conversation about that. Being popular does in fact come with some responsibilities, and one of them is that your behavior and opinions carry more weight. Even if your daughter does not mean to be gossipy or exclusionary, it can happen very easily. Sometimes teenagers (and adult women) normalize behaviors like talking about other girls when they aren't around, or keeping certain activities "secret" in order to avoid inviting certain people. These are unkind behaviors and there are better ways to handle them. I think you need to be talking with your daughter about what those better ways are.

As is always the case with this subject on DCUM, I remain disappointed in the attitude so many people have that kids who are less popular should simply accept being treated poorly by their peers even if that treatment is unnecessary and harmful.[/quote]

Personally I’m shocked by the number of people who seem to think that an anonymous creepy email should be taken at face value. It is actually insane to me.

If I responded, the only response I would have is “I do not engage with anonymous correspondents.” [/quote]

Why is the email "creepy"? What about it is creepy? The only thing the email does is state that OP's daughter is engaged in harmful behaviors.

The only creepy thing about it to me is that it is anonymous, but I agree with OP it is likely from a fellow student and so that aspect reads as fearful/lacking in confidence to me. Not creepy. It sounds like someone who is having a hard time and looking for a way to report their experience to an adult who might be able to do something about it.

And to respond to some other PPs, there's no stalking here! The letter writer isn't tracking anyone's movements, following them, sending repeated unwanted texts or emails, watching them for a distance without their knowledge, etc. It's not stalking to send a single email complaining about behavior that you claim to have experienced or witnessed first hand. Presumably the letter writer goes to school with the OP's daughter, may be in her friend group, and is speaking based on her first-hand experience. Not stalking.[/quote]

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