Reply to Negative impact of therapy and "therapy speak"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous[b]]I have an old friend who is really critical of others and also really sensitive. Things that seem like no big deal to me are really hurtful to her and she will ruminate on them for a long time. She also will “cut people off” if she doesn’t feel sufficiently appreciated, reciprocated, etc. She is single and in her late 40s now and has been an avid therapy goer since her 20s. She often uses language her therapist gives her to justify pushing people away or cutting them off - or she will describe an event and before I even react, she adds that her therapist agrees with her. [/b]

It makes me sad for her because I feel like her therapist has coached and encourage her to push people away under the guise of “protecting herself from toxic people” - which just makes her more dependent on the therapist. I think she is genuinely hurting so I don’t want to say she’s overly sensitive or overreacting - but it seems like she’s spent decades with therapists who tell her what she wants to hear and support her avoiding anything difficult instead of learning how to advocate for herself and work towards positive relationships. When a therapist eventually does get to a point of asking her to do something hard, she leaves and finds another therapist and starts the cycle all over. [/quote]

A lot of what you write here sounds like my sister. She has a pattern of becoming very close with people (church friends, roommates, family members), and during the close periods she spends lots of time with them, and then after a year or so she turns against them and decides they've been "grooming her" or that they're "toxic." She's in her early forties and despite wanting to get married and have children, she never gives anyone a real chance (cuts off potentially good relationships early) or obsesses about people who are unavailable. She has been going to therapy for a long time, and in recent years has started going several times a week. In my opinion, it has caused her to overly self analyze and to constantly position herself as the victim, and to be overly critical of others. I think she is fundamentally afraid of being rejected, and therapy has given her the tools to cut people off as an act of "self love." [/quote]

Sounds like a lucrative gig for her therapist.[/quote]

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