Reply to Holding my boundary. Let him be mad.

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Reply to "Holding my boundary. Let him be mad."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feel sad for your daughter.[/quote]
Not me. I love that OP is setting such a great example for her daughter. Her daughter can’t appreciate that yet, but hopefully she will. I agree with you, OP.[/quote]

An example of...bean-counting, score-keeping and inflexibility? Because that's what OP is modeling here.

OP doesn't say her DH does the same to her when she wants to hand off the kid early and not do all of her "time" with DD. OP talks in theoreticals -- "Now what do you think his reaction would be..."

Having a regular rhythm and schedule is great. Having "me time" that each of them gets is an excellent idea. Being inflexible if there's a change is a recipe for resentment, not a proud and noble defense of "boundaries."

The DH could have called OP before he headed home from his mom's and said, "I'm tired and could you please take DD and do lunch and naptime? I'll help out and we'll take care of dinnertime together" or what the hell ever. But that's the ideal. He wasn't ideal this time. Rather than saying (OUT of the DD's earshot), "Hey, this threw me off and if you're going to change things up due to something like seeing your mom, please be sure to give me a call next time so Im not waltzing out the shower figuring I still have X hours left of my 'morning'" -- Instead of communicating like an adult, she's going to stew and steam and now he is too. Great result, OP.

When your DD is old enough to have activities like soccer one day of the weekend and dance another day etc. etc., you and your DH are going to have to learn a lot more flexibility and a LOT better communication. And both of you learning some kindness toward each other, and understanding of the occasional unusual circumstance (like a visit to mom's if that's not usual) -- that would help too. [/quote]

He was TIRED. He wasn’t bleeding from his ears. It’s OK to be tired. Do it anyway.[/quote]

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