Reply to Setting $ limit on teen bday dinner with friends

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[quote=Anonymous]A special menu is a nice idea - kids may not connect it to controlling costs and instead think it’s fancy. I’m an adult and I still get a kick out of it when places like Inn at Little Washington have a menu with our name on it and happy birthday or anniversary wishes.

If you can’t do a special menu, enlist the help of a good friend. We all know which kids in our child’s friend group are responsible and level headed. We also know which child is the one who will eat your snack drawer bare and have the audacity to say “next time you’re at Costco Mrs B, can you get (expensive item)?” We also know which of our kid’s friends is the ring leader / good ball / popular one who would order the lobster or steak to be cool and then encourage other kids to do the same. It’s not just one clueless spoiled kid who likes lobster rolls because her grandma lives in Maine. It’s the popular kid ordering steak - and everyone else saying “me too!” This is where the sensible friend comes in. You tell the friend you aren’t putting a strict limit, but you hope they don’t go overboard- then give examples. Ask the friend to pipe up “dude that’s not cool” so your child doesn’t have to stress about looking cheap on his birthday. I know my kid would rather crawl under the table and die than tell a friend his frugal mom said “no gold plated dessert or table side guacamole” - but if a friend said it, he’d agree. [/quote]

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