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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is so obnoxious. Just quit your job and go back when you’re ready. It sounds like your employer has been generous and you’re exploiting them at that point. [/quote]

Not op. You are a big problem with what is wrong in this country. GTFOOH[/quote]

This is so OP. You are just frustrated with the responses because no one is saying "after I took 6 months off, I requested another 10 months and my employer promoted me two weeks after I got back. It was great being there for Larla in her first 16 months but never actually needing to leave the workforce because my company let me take as much time as I needed to be mentally and physically and emotionally ready to leave her with a nanny."

Unfortunately, our country doesn't have good maternity leave policies but OP is so lucky that her company gives employees 6 months of paid leave. She is not the person I feel bad for when it comes to maternity leave. Even some type of universal leave will likely only cover 12 weeks. [/quote]

OP here. I didn’t write this. This forum is so f-ing toxic. Accusing me of lying about this being my second kid. JFC. I’m done here. This made everything so much worse. [/quote]

Well then, how did it go when you took maternity leave the last time at your company? And as a mom of multiple children whose taken multiple leaves, I find it really surprising that you're having trouble going back after six months with your second...but you went back after six months with your first no problem...I'm assuming no problem because if you had trouble going back after six months with your first why wouldn't you have had a conversation about taking more than six months with your employer upfront?

And why won't you just say how much time you plan to take? Why ask about others' experiences and for advice and then refuse to answer a very basic piece of information? [/quote]

What is wrong with you? (not OP here though I'm sure you'll accuse me of being OP because even though there are at least two of us on here defending OP you are convinced we don't exist).

OP does not know how much time she will take. She is unsure of how much it might be okay to ask for. THAT IS WHY SHE CAME TO THIS FORUM. She does not need to tell YOU how much time should would like, she owes you nothing. She is asking if others have asked for unpaid leave in this situation, if so how much they asked for, and what was the outcome. She is gathering information to prepare for a conversation/negotiation with her employer. I am someone who has been through this and replied upthread (where I reported that my director was a hard no on more leave so I quit my job, but was later told by a friend in HR that if I had gone through HR instead of my director, it's more likely I would have gotten leave because the company actually had a written policy that it offers up to a year of unpaid leave for new parents and I could have made an argument based on precedent).

Anyway, OP is unsure how much to ask for. I understand this because when I was in the same situation, I was also unsure -- I knew I wasn't ready and I wanted ted to (1) get my PPD under control, and (2) have a bit more time to find better quality childcare because a huge part of my anxiety about returning is that the only childcare we'd found did not feel okay to me but I was sitting on a bunch of waitlists with no idea when they'd move.

I wound up asking for 6 weeks OR to return immediately but on a part-time WFH basis because I'd found a co-working space with childcare in-house that had space and I felt I could return immediately if I could be in the same building as my kid. Both requests were denied.

So here's what I'm having trouble with: if you are indeed a working mom of multiple children, I'm assuming you've met and interacted with other moms before. Have you really never encountered another mother whose experience does not precisely mirror yours with respect to childbirth and return to work? For every one of their pregnancies? I know tons of moms and I absolutely know moms who took longer leaves with their second kids because of unforeseen circumstances (PPD/PPA, a physically tough pregnancy or a birth injury, unexpected childcare issues when juggling two kids, etc.). I also know people who took their permitted leave for each kid and no issues. I know people like me who wound up quitting when they couldn't go back at the expected time. I know people who negotiated a deal like I tried to negotiate, with part-time return or a bit of unpaid leave to bridge the gap. I know a huge variety of situations which means I'm not really judgmental of any particular situation.

So how the heck did you have multiple kids and presumably meet a decent number of other moms and not get the memo that not everyone has the exact same situation? What is wrong with you that you are this antagonistic of a situation that doesn't even concern you (OP presumably doesn't work with you or for you). Like I hate when people say this on here because it sounds dismissive but I mean it genuinely: I think you need therapy. [/quote]

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