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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A PP asked but I didn't see an answer: how much more time are we talking? 1-2 additional months, or another 6 months?[/quote]

I was asking what others may have done in this situation to try to gauge an answer to this question. But instead I got baseless accusations and almost entirely unhelpful nonsense. Just so upsetting. [/quote]

I’m not sure why you’re attacking me, I was just asking a question that is relevant to what advice I would give. If you just want/need another month, I would think for a job you’ve been at 15 years, a good employer would accommodate. But if you’re looking for another 6 months or more, that puts a different level of strain on your colleagues covering for you.[/quote]

Wasn’t directed at you as an attack. Very sorry it came off that way. Not my intention. Thanks for the advice. I agree. [/quote]

Why aren’t you answering how much longer you want for leave?[/quote]

OP isn't sure how much time she might want or could get. That's why she asked here what other's experience has been. If people came on and said "yes I got an extra month and it was just what I needed to help my feel ready -- babies change so much in a short period" that would have been informative. If people came on and said "I asked for an extra month and my employer said absolutely not and I had to go back right away and this was my experience with that" that would also be informative.

Everyone is acting like OP is asking them, personally, for extended leave. She's not. She's asking on here for feedback on experiences so that she can be more informed as she makes this decision of whether to ask for more leave and if so how much. She's the one gathering info about the landscape. No one is entitled to info about her personal life and she doesn't have to justify her interest in more leave to ANYONE on this forum.

I wonder if the responses to this would be different if OP was taking bereavement leave after losing a spouse and came on here saying "I want to ask my employer for extra time as unpaid leave because I just don't feel ready to be back in the office -- does anyone have experience with this?" For some reason our culture acts like women recovering from childbirth or making the transition to motherhood are trying to pull one over on society and that actually that's just easy and effortless and it's normal for women to be ready to return to their jobs in a short period of time. It's so weird! We were all babies once. We all have mothers. And yet we act like the act of having children and becoming a mom is a horrible imposition on other people, a personal hobby that women use to get out of "real" societal contributions like sitting in offices and sending emails and making corporations incrementally more money.

Our priorities are so f****d.[/quote]

Oh, OP! It's actually really uncommon to take 6 months of leave and at the end of the leave to ask for more time. You're not getting a lot of "helpful" responses because your situation is uncommon. When people are in the place that you are in, OP, they quit or they go back to work. It's not what you want to hear, but it's the truth.[/quote]

I'm the PP (not OP) and I'm sure OP is aware that six months leave is unusual in the US -- in fact I'm sure she has noted that in her comments.

But as someone who also had a generous maternity leave by US standards (4 months fully paid) I can tell you something you won't want to hear: companies that offer longer leaves are also often MORE likely to offer additional unpaid leave on a case by case basis, because these are companies that have structured solutions to having workers out on leave. They are also much more likely to offer longer leaves to fathers or to parents of adopted children, as well as paid leave for bereavement or family health emergencies.

Companies like this often also have a highly educated workforce and may know how hard it is to hire experienced people with the proper background, and therefore be more inclined to give a worker a little extra leave if the alternative is having to hire someone into a role that is currently filled by a company veteran with specific skill sets.

Also, and you won't believe this but I mean it: I wish you'd had this experience, I wish everyone did. I think it's a huge bummer that it's mostly only white collar professionals who get this kind of treatment at [some] companies. But the truth is that OP's company has already indicated that they are willing to tolerate longer maternity leaves, so she's probably in a better situation to request additional unpaid leave than the vast majority of women returning to work after having a baby.[/quote]

The majority of respondents are white collar highly paid employees. I make $300K and WAH. I used my 22 week maternity leave to get a WAH job after my first was born because I didn't want to go back to the office. I wanted to work at home with a nanny. And yes, I have not taken other opportunities so I could WAH with my kids while they are young. I get all of this and I empathize with the OP for wanting to be at home. But at some point you need to decide what you want: a WAH job (if possible), to be a SAHM, or to go back to the office whether hybrid or in-office. I have been very grateful for the extended leaves that I've had and I also recognize the impact those leaves have had on my teams. [/quote]

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