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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Team wife. You sound super weird. That might have been cute and quirky when you were in your 20s pre kids. But as a grown adult she is likely seeking other adults to have as friends, so she has someone besides you to be friends with, and you embarrass her. So stop. Would it really be that hard to hold some light conversation when out with others for a couple hours? Without your journal, Rubix cube, or muttering to yourself?
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PP - you appear dense. How is he stopping her from making friends outside of them as a couple? If the does not have the social skill to pull off making friends on her own, you cannot blame him for her problems.

Does he embarrass her when she is spending the money he earns? It is a question you missed asking. She knew who he was when they got married ("cute and quirky") and neither she nor you can blame him now for who he is.

Yes, it might be hard from him to have some light conversation for a couple of hours without a coping strategy. Your lack of empathic awareness makes you sound super weird[/quote]

I'm not going to speak on my wife's friends because she's doing a good job of making them. I just wanted to say that puzzles has helped me with this area of my social circle.

First, without needing to actually play games at the social I can just ask about puzzles and that leads to conversations. Second, in my lines of work and in this area there are a lot of people in similar lines of work so with similar introverted natures so we play similar puzzles and can talk about them. This builds commitments like any other area and you see they grow.

These can be sudoku or chess or more random things like chaos puzzles. But they're all fun things to talk about and learn to do and solve and they make good conversation at a party, especially when the only conversation is "so, what do you do".

So my network has expanded this past year a lot just with the puzzle platform. People act like I'm anti social, but I'm still learning this social life, as math always came easy to me. Now I'm learning this other stuff. The puzzles help me a lot and I'm not trying to pull out a Rubik's cube at the dinner table like when I was 17.

I have an app on my phone that I thought was more discreet but I guess not. But the goal is still to learn to be more social, understanding that this is so I am. [/quote]

You seem really focused on this, OP, but I seriously doubt this is why your wife is mad at you.  I’m pretty sure that you did something that hurt her deeply, and no matter how socially awkward it might be, doing a lot of puzzles at parties doesn’t tend to cause pain to people who love you.  
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Then this relates back to the original question. I try my hardest to be a good dude. I'm not going to write an online resume but I get no credit for it. [b]I have a job but get in trouble for not doing my share of the chores, so I pick up my share of the work and there are other things. Now this. [/b]

I really think she doesn't like me.

Hell, a of this still is not to deal with social anxiety. It's to deal with loneliness. I'm linked lonlier in a marriage that I ever was being single. So I read books, I do puzzles, i exercise, I play ball, but I don't know what I ever did to become the villain of this marriage.

I'm reading through the books of Psalms, Proverbs, Romans, The Gospels, and Isaiah. I'm trying to talk to her about going to counseling and I'm trying to just talk to her about some of the things in this thread. But it's very difficult. [/quote]

Dude. Job and chores, that's adult life. Why should having a job get you out of doing a fair share of the chores? Why should you get "credit" for being a functioning adult and a basically decent person? Do you give her "credit" for the things she does? Examine your thinking here. Your attitude is probably making her mad, or worse, hurting her feelings.  She wants a partner who joins her in caring for the family and sees her as a person and an equal, not an overgrown kid that she has to give a star on a chart every time he does basic tasks.  Not someone who is so focused on his phone and Sudoku that he doesn't notice how hard she's working.

Yes, a troubled marriage can be a lonely place. She's probably really lonely too. [/quote]

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