Reply to How do you get an affair/relationship started with another married person?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]+1. I'm in a situation like this. She all but falls into my arms -- on a regular basis -- but then won't let herself be in a situation where anything physical can happen. It's not teasing; I'm old enough (sadly) to know when a woman is genuinely into me. I suspect I serve as a nice spur to her fantasies. Great.

I also think this is what a lot of women actually mean when they say they engaged in an "emotional affair." It's transgressive and satisfying for the woman, but she can feel like  she didn't cross the line to ho or homewrecker or whatever unfortunate images she harbors of women who cheat. It's (eventually) just frustrating as hell for the dude.[/quote]

If you haven't closed the deal by now there is a chance that you are too late to ever do so.   If you woo her without succeeding then you risk damaging your ability to seduce other women in the workplace by getting a reputation as a Dirty Old or Young Manwhore, who is also, even worse, weak.  The best wingman is actually a woman who does not know she is your wingman.  This is why I suggested asking how your adored one met her husband.  It's a win-win if done correctly.  After you find out whether she can be seduced by her expression you should follow up with an indirect compliment.  (DO NOT  SAY - Your husband is sure a lucky man. DO SAY - How interesting that you met at law school. It must be great meeting someone who works in your field.)  You have to make subtly compliment her taste in that quintessential life decision - spousal selection.  If you discover that she loves her husband so much she cannot be seduced you should continue the conversation and ask more about the spouse.  In this way you influence this attractive woman's image of you.  She will be flattered by your interest in her family and think you respect her as a person and friend. She will think you are a genuinely nice guy and will pass that information on to other female colleagues, which will help you in subsequent seduction attempts.

The object of your lust is doubtless a high 7 or 8.  The problem for an 8 is that her competition is not other 8s; in her prime she was compared to the 10.  Young men waste time going for the rare 10 they encounter.  Remember how every guy in the dorm did his utmost to bed that exquisite 10 who never looked at any of them because she had an older wealthy lover?  Older men realize that they are not likely to get a 10 and that a high 7/8 can yield greater pleasure.  No high-value woman wants anyone else's sloppy seconds.  To maximize your chances of seducing her it is critical that you actively establish a reputation within your organization as a Not Dirty Old or Young Manwhore.  Your task is to convince the 8 that you are a decent, moral, upstanding person who would never want to make [i]anyone[/i] cheat.  You must convince her that everyone else has been wrong; you know that she, as she has always suspected, is truly a 10, not an 8.  The truth of this conviction -- her inhuman desirability -- has forced you to make a move or go mad with desire.

I believe you have missed your moment with this particular woman but if you are willing to go back to the drawing board, to satisfy her psychically without seeming desperate, perhaps you can regain the momentum.  If I were you I would withdraw.  She has grown comfortable basking in your attention.  I would be courteous and professional the next time I encountered her, friendly in the way you are with other colleagues.  I wouldn't even allude to what has passed between you.  She will be confused at first, then angry, and then insecure.  She won't want to lose her water cooler admirer.  Capitalize on that secret fear: What if she is just an 8 and you have realized that and moved on?  Show that she no longer moves you.  Go directly into the "we're just friends" stage without explanation or rancor.  The resulting sleepless nights for her = panties for you.[/quote]

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