Reply to I wish parents could be more supportive and less desperate

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You seem very sure that you're doing it much better than everyone else, OP.

I don't know anyone in my circle how does what you claim we all do.

Perhaps you could stretch to understand that we are all complex creatures who can be rational and tolerant most of the time, but who occasionally need to vent our disappointments and resentments on an anonymous online forum. This is why this forum gets heated.

But you know better, of course.

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Where are you from?  That you don't know ANYONE who functions like this.   It's like this in most highly educated areas of the country.  For some reasons most people think attending T20 school is the only way to be successful in life.  Kids plan and mold their HS "career" just in hopes of getting into the best college.

We personally don't fall 100% in this trap.  We encourage our kids to take rigorous courses, but I let our 1500 3.99UW GPA skip APUSH/APEuro/APEng for their sanity and just stick to AP STEM courses. Also let them drop FL after level 3, when Spanish IV didn't fit into schedule with band and AP was taught by an abysmal teacher (had them for SP2 and were not going to deal with that crap again).  But most around us were taking 5-6 APs each year just because "it's needed for college"---hint it's not.  Sure my kid did not get into their T20 choice, but they had a much happier HS 4 years being allowed to enjoy life.  They are at a T30-40 and extremely happy and trust me, plenty challenged.  Despite having stats that put them at the 75% for the school (even pre covid they would have been 75-80%), they are surrounded by really smart, motivated students.  Because the difference between someone with a 1500 and 1350 is minimal---both are really smart people.   [/quote]

Love the lecture on not falling into traps from someone who fell into the STEM STEM STEM trap.  Why didn't you encourage your kid to take a healthy mix of APs in science, humanities, and social sciences instead of sticking to STEM APs?   Let me guess -- because you made the "I have a STEM kid" calculation and you put your money on them getting into a strong STEM program based on taking a rigorous STEM load.  You were gunning in your own way so maybe cut the sanctimony a little.  [/quote]

No, you are so far off base it's ridiculous.  My kid made the decision "I'm a STEM kid" by MS all on their own, really it was apparent in ES.  They were in advanced reading/LA in ES and honors LA/History/Humanities all the way thru MS and HS.  They are really smart, but gravitated towards math/science because that is what interested them.  They could do the humanities AP and would have gotten an A/A-,  but chose to take Honors instead and not have an extra 10-15 hours/week of Homework for EACH humanities class.   Instead they spent 15-25+ hours per week at their EC (dance).  We supported this decision to actually sleep more than 2-3 hours per night and to maintain their mental health in HS.  They did toss in AP Psych because it sounded interesting and they loved it, but have no interest in majoring in it. 
 
This is a kid who was at the top of their math starting in K and 1st grade classes---a kid who gets the concepts immediately, and never went to Kumon or any type of tutoring.  Their 1st grade teacher told me they were one of 2 kids in their advanced class of 30 who just "got it" and were way ahead of the majority, most of whom were there because they had been drilled with Kumon or flash cards, and I would volunteer in the class and could see this as well.  
They love math and chemistry and coding.  But we didn't push them to do EC based on STEM.  We let them focus on dance, because that's what interested them and they wanted to be a part of. In late ES/early MS, it was proposed to put them 3 grade levels ahead in math but we didn't do it.  We moved at that time and did not think it was healthy for a 6th grader to be with all 8th graders in a new school with totally new people.  So they stuck with 2 grade levels ahead.  Had we not moved, the kid would have hit Calculus in 10th grade and easily gotten an A.

Not everyone who is in stem was "pushed into it".  Some people just naturally excel at it.  If my kid wanted to take only Humantiies courses, I would have no issues with it.  They can be an English Lit major if they want, but they would be miserable with that, and why would I force something like that (or rather force any topics)?

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Your kid is a naturally high achiever so this doesn't really apply to you.[/quote]

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