Reply to s/o...if you don't reciprocate, do you wish I would go away?

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Reply to "s/o...if you don't reciprocate, do you wish I would go away?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Wow, this thread is blowing my mind a little bit.

Those of you who feel really, really strongly that everything in life, at least the social mores, must be quid pro quo, are you also the sticklers for thank you notes (even when a personal thanks is given)? Are you also people who think you can spoil babies by picking them up too much? Are you a frequent poster in the 50 and over forum? I'm just starting to get the image of a biddy here. Sorry if that seems harsh.

For the record, we host at least one gathering a month. Some small, some large. I simply cannot fathom being ANGRY at someone for not hosting in turn. I have many ways to gauge my friends interest in me. Do they take my calls and respond when I'm feeling blue and want to talk? If I needed an ear, would they listen? Do we just "get" one another and turn any night into laughter? Do we have a great time when we are together? This is what matters.

As an aside, it always cracks me up when people on these boards try to be such "sticklers" for manners. "I host you, now you must host me." The great irony is that any manners maven will tell you that, like demanding a thank you note is poor form (making any observation or note of someone else's lapse of manners is considered to be in poor taste), it is also in poor taste to keep score. To the friend who feels slighted that a friend you host constantly seems alwyas to have time for someone else, what you're discussing does not seem to be just a hosting disparity so much as an interest disparity. Maybe.

On the other hand, maybe the families that this gal hosts are families who cannot host her? Maybe she loves coming to your house? Maybe she hosts some, goes to some, without obsessing over who she "owes" because hosting, to her, is a pleasure and not a repayment of a debt? Or a tedious obligation?

People, come ON. It's totally okay if someone doesn't host in return. There are dozens of reasons for why they may not, and in point of fact, they do not owe you anything. You host, they come, and hopefully, thank you for your graciousness. It is EXTREMELY ungracious to demand reciprocity or to make people feel as though they are indebted to you. That, my friends, is bad manners in an extreme. (and with your attitude, seriously, no WONDER they don't invite you back!) Calling your friends "freeloaders" because they had the nerve to come to something that you INVITED them to?

Thanks but no thanks. Stop hosting. You're doing it for the wrong reasons and embarrassing yourself with your attitude. [/quote]

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