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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The best part of the gatekeeper psychology is that it happens everywhere, and people know it when they smell it. The PPs who are defending this idiocy are outing themselves. What grown adult would be proud to act like this?

Damaged goods.[/quote]

So true. I had a bad experience with gatekeepers through a job I had in my early 30s. Similar situation -- there were a couple people at the "top" of the company's social hierarchy, and they were really into social engineering and would do stuff like throw an annual party that you had to "earn" an invite to (like the first year or two you were at the company, you would not be invited, and then one day they would decide you merited an invite and this would be conveyed to you "officially" and you were supposed to act very flatter/excited). They also tried to orchestrate friendships between certain people, like one of them would invite you out for coffee and then "set you up" with someone else a the company like "I decided you two need to be friends." Not romantic, but just like they had this vision of how the social scene at this place should be.

Also, if you tried to just stay out of this stuff, like just not socialize with work people or just politely decline invitations, they would start rumors that you were rude and hated everyone there. Plus one of them was in management and would get you blackballed from certain assignments or projects if they decided you were not enough of a "team player" which for them meant participating in all this extra-curricular stuff and, importantly, kissing up to them and flattering their ego.

It was stressful, invasive, and weird, and it was such a huge relief when I left that company and instead got to be normal again.

Now I am very aware of the tendencies toward this kind of behavior and if I pick up on it, I back away slowly and then keep my distance. These are the people I assume would volunteer as informers to the Stasi under an authoritarian regime. I want nothing to do with them.[/quote]

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