Reply to “Beach House” Early

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you don’t want to be with SIL why are you pretending it’s about the rooms?[/quote]

We would stay with them if the rooms were suitable. The difficulty is that explaining we don’t want our nephew unsupervised with our kids would kick off a huge and unnecessary family drama— we don’t care if he’s medicated/in therapy/doing sports, we aren’t risking our kids safety and it’s not up for discussion. 
[/quote]

So then why do you want them to ask for your input on the house if you never intend to stay there?  [/quote]

Because if it’s something that really matters to them we could do it for a couple of days with the right accommodations. [/quote]

So then the cousins violent behavior isnt really an issue if you would "stay anyway". You are confusing. [/quote]

+100. Exactly this. Pick a lane, OP.[/quote]

Agree[/quote]

I can’t tell if the “confused” posts are in good faith, but just in case:

We would spend 1-2 days at the beach house staying with the in-laws if our accommodations were such that we could lock a door at night between our kids and oldest cousin— so no wandering out to the bathroom at 2 a.m.  The rest of the time we watch the kids like hawks and the only time we don’t is when we’re asleep. [/quote]

OP makes the nephew sound like a psycho path with a hairpin trigger so if she feels comfortable with a flimsy rental door lock to keep her kids safe while she is asleep, have at it and good luck. [/quote]

I’m OP. I don’t think I made him sound like a psychopath— he has significantly injured two of his siblings, both times things which an adult present could have prevented. [/quote]

I have to wonder what kind of parent YOU are, because you can prevent injury to your family by...not staying with this kid.[/quote]

We have to be hyper vigilant either way or not even visit the beach house. If it’s genuinely important to my in laws that we stay with them, we can for a short time if we can lock the doors. If they’re just being polite I won’t waste the effort.

My husband is just as good at supervising as I am, and tends to prefer to be the one with the kid with our nephew as our nephew is getting bigger— I have no concerns about him. He will also put an end to these trips the first time our nephew even attempts to lay a finger on our kids so I’m not worried about his boundaries. [/quote]

And if it's genuinely important to you to stay with them, you will proactively send links to places you deem acceptable, and you will tell them what you need in order to stay with them. And then let the chips fall where they may.[/quote]

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