Reply to 18-year-old DD doesn’t think she has to listen to us anymore

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She turned 18 in mid-January and has decided since she’s a legal adult she can do as she pleases.

Ignoring our pretty liberal curfew (10pm on weekdays, no curfew on weekends as long as she tells us where she is) and not doing any chores.  We are not super strict because we really never had to be.  We told her while she lives in our home she needs to follow our rules.  So… she decided she’ll move out.  Plans on moving in with her friends family.  This friend is a great kid but her parents are basically non-existent.  She does as she pleases and it seems like DH wants the same freedom.

DH wants to ban this but I am kind of want this be a lesson.  She’ll be graduating in a few months and then off to college after that and we will have no say.  So I feel like we should give her this freedom so if there are any natural consequences we are here as back up vs. it happening when she’s at college.

But we aren’t willing to let her skip chores or show up whenever she pleases at our house.  What would you do?  I feel like since she’s still in HS we have some power.  But that ends soon I guess. [/quote]

I moved out when I was 19. I was horrible to my parents and hated all the damn rules my parents gave me and hated them too. They cut me off.  They took my car, my allowance, my computer.  I was allowed to pack clothes and that's it.  They told me that if I was leaving, I need to learn to live truly on my own.  I moved to my friend's house, her family was wealthy and welcoming.  She had rules too, but I was ok with that because I was making a point.  After 3 months her parents told me basically that I had overstayed and that I should go back home or find other accommodation.  I had a part-time job at the time, not enough to pay rent.  I didn't know what to do, so I went back home.  Now as an adult with kids of my own, I feel awful for the way I treated my wonderful parents.  I know how stressed they were for me when I left and how tough they had to be to teach me a lesson. But a lesson I learned very well. I eventually went to college, got my degree and started my career. My parents never pressured me, they wanted me to be ready to go to college.  I have a great relationship with them.[/quote]

Not to mention going to live with someone else’s parents isn’t living on your own, no matter what a know-it-all 18 yo thinks. [/quote]

Exactly!!  Going to stay with richer parents that have no rules or boundaries...great.  You are soooo independent  :roll:  :roll: [/quote]

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