Reply to How to explain to Ils that parents don’t want to share Christmas

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’d tell my parents to deal. If they want a solo weekend, they come at a time that’s not Christmas.  [/quote]

+1[/quote]

+2. I don't understand this doling out of the christmases. Why can't they both go to both and everyone be together? That is certainly in keeping with the Christmas Spirit. And parents need to understand that times change. This is not their Christmas in their house any more. If they want uninterrupted time alone, they do it at other times of the year. 
The end. [/quote]

Like when Mary and Joseph forced themselves into a crowded inn rather than politely staying out by the manger? Come on. [b]Forcing yourself on people who don't want you [/b]is not in keeping with the Christmas spirit at all. [b]They could have asked permission, but they didn't[/b] because they wanted to manipulate and use social pressure to get what they want. Rude, rude, rude. Rudeness is not the Christmas spirit.  "The end."

The parents dont want them there, but you can't disinvite uninvited people [b]if you don't know they are coming[/b]. The OP doesn't want them there either. Time for the DH to act like an adult and speak to his parents, or the OP can do it for them. [/quote]

The OP has not clarified, despite being asked, what actually happened.   Your bolded is speculation.  Another possible speculation is that the ILs told everyone ahead of time that they would be in the area and would love to stop by and nobody told them no.  It is also VERY reasonable to assume that the ILs had no reason to believe that they would not be welcomed.  It is true that ILs did not get affirmatively invited, but there is a lot between that and showing up last minute on a door step.

It also is not at all clear what OP wants.  She appears to be just trying to figure out the "right" thing to do (which is entirely dependent on what her and her DH actually want.)

If what they want is to go to OP's parents without the ILs, they should absolutely do that.  But I'm not sure why anybody needs to talk to the ILs at all.  Just make your plans.  No need to make a big deal out of it. [/quote]

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