Reply to Problems with my four year old. I need a super nanny.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Some good advice here. If time outs and other main stream strategies don’t work out, I recommend the book The Explosive Child. It helped a lot for our son that sounds a lot like yours. Things are better now at 6. [/quote]

I also have a child for whom time outs didn’t work - they made him totally unhinged and escalated everything. The day I found myself holding my son’s door shut with all my weight while he threw himself at it from the other side, after I had carried him upstairs thrashing and dripping tears and snot was the day I decided it wasn’t working anymore. 4 was awful. We changed things up after reading Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Khon. I hear good things about The Explosive Child, too.

My son is now 16. He is gentle, kind, funny, and self disciplined. He does have a mild anxiety disorder, which probably was always present and is what made his behavior so atrocious at that age. He couldn’t handle sticker charts or punishments because both made him incredibly anxious, though he couldn’t tell us so at that age.

Interestingly, he is still unmotivatable by external punishments or rewards. But when he decides to do something, he does it, no matter how hard.[/quote]

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