Reply to Problems with my four year old. I need a super nanny.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP is he your only child? Regardless can you try 15-20 min per day of real focused attention with him after school doing whatever he wants to play. Get down on the floor, play hide and seek, give him tickles and help him work out that adrenaline while giving him the attention he craves. The physical type play is important. My pediatrician recommended this for our 4 yo, who is a middle child, but it holds for any kid. I also recommend working really hard to stop seeing your kid as a BAD KID because he will truly internalize it and just resort to it because he thinks you expect it of him. I haven't gone so far as making an accomplishment journal, but I've seen it recommended that writing down a couple bullets every day of nice and good things your kid did every day and then reading them to them at night is a big help for both the kid and the parent. Your brain is starting to only see/remember the bad things and you are filtering out the good things. Also agree that nannies succeed because they can disassociate and take emotions out of it, which is so freaking hard for parents but so necessary in you staying calm and in charge, which your kid needs to see. Yelling never ever works, it just is what we resort to. When you start to feel crazy, close your eyes, drop your shoulers back down, take some big deep breaths. Walk away if you can safely. Think of something nice, look out the window and think of something happy. Also, think of your 4 year old as a baby and how sweet he was and how much you love him. This helps calm your body and brain down so you can function again and parent effectively.

Agree with PP to talk to your ped who may have more tailored suggestions. Google some of your specific issues and find a few podcasts talking on them. Look at PEP classes either in person (NW DC) or virtually. He's not bad and you're not bad, but sometimes we all need a little help.[/quote]

What if it's a bad kid?  Would you hug a bully?[/quote]

You cannot possibly be a parent. [/quote]

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