Reply to Talk to me about dating as a woman who is not “hot”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]guys.  ...  what they actually respond to is a lot of smiling, compliments, shared interests.[/quote]

It seems like she is either lazy, or inflexible and unwilling to compromise.  Does that extend to the rest of her dating life?  Is she unwilling to smile and flirt?  Is she unwilling to take good online dating photos?

Clothing sends a message.  It is fine for OP to prefer a rugged, casual lifestyle.  She might not like high-fashion.  But I'll bet she prefers a man in well-fitting jeans and polished shoes like this:

https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0419/1525/products/1024x1024-Men-Captain-Brandy-1_6194ed24-56e0-4d6f-bddd-71d21d269cbc_672x672.jpg

to a man in baggy khakis and old-man shoes like this:

https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/senior-man-feet-and-cane-walking-on-sidewalk-royalty-free-image/182206493

A poorly dressed man signifies that he is socially inept, boring, and not accommodating.  A woman who dresses like Old Mother Hubbard sends a similar message of cluelessness.  Men pay for dates, and when you show up dressed inappropriately, you send a message that you are rude or not interested.[/quote]

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