Reply to How do you stay married to an ASD HFA Aspergers husband?

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[quote=Anonymous]I didn’t read the other responses. And, my husband has never been diagnosed but he likely has ADHD and as one therapist told me: he’s very low EQ.

We’ve been married 25 years and some of them have been VERY hard but others have been wonderful. He has some very good traits/skills: very smart and high income, fantastic cook, great in bed, appreciates my sense of humor. I think deep down he wants to connect but his family is…well, they treat other people like pieces on a chess board. So, he never saw emotional intelligence modeled.

Here’s where it gets cool:

Our kids (early 20s) are VERY high EQ.  People adore them, our kids invest a lot of themselves in relationships etc and he really admires that. As a result, I’ve seen him try harder in the last 10 years to connect with us, with others etc.

Anyway, to answer your question:

I lean into the good stuff
I tell him what I need—literally, daily
I don’t take his behavior personally and I NEVER apologize for his behavior or assume it’s a reflection of me in any way (I did this early on)

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