Reply to How many parents still financially support their middle age adult children?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know lots of my friend's wealthier parents helped them constantly until the parents died. [/quote]

And why wouldn't you if you had the funds?  We are UHNW.  We will help our kids as long as they are working hard/contributing to society (ie....they need a 40 hour/week job and be working hard to better themselves---not an issue one has graduated college already and gainfully employed, other is in college doing well). But why wouldn't we help them fully fund their IRA/401k? and pay for family vacations (they are both single)

They know any future grandkids will have fully funded 529s, and we will help with house downpayment when they are ready to settle into a specific area.

So yes, that's helping, but only for extras. They still live "within their means" for everything else, meaning they can afford the basics in life.  
I would much rather see my kids/their future spouse and grandkids enjoy the money while I"m alive, than have them wait until they are 50-60+ and inherit it.  And if they truly wanted to go into a field with low pay, but a field that truly helps/contributes to society, they know we would help support them in order to do so.  Just seems silly to make them wait until we die to enjoy the $$. 
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I think it's really sweet of you to offer your kids this much financial support (I would love it if my parents were in a position to do as much not going to lie).  But please stop saying that paying a big chunk toward their housing and kids' college funds is an "extra."  Housing and education are two of the most basic, expensive things people have to budget for.  They're not "extra."  Vacations, expensive clothes, private school could be counted as "extras" (and no shame if you want to gift them either!) but housing, food, and education are basics.[/quote]

Obviously housing food and education are basics.  But the "big chunk towards housing" will be to give them better housing.  They will still be able to afford to live very nicely at Upper middle class lifestyle with their own income, without any assistance from us---because they dont' expect to get this stuff.  They worked hard in college and are thriving at their first job.  They are 24 making $85K in a MCOL/LCOL area.  On their own, they will be able to own a condo/townhome by the time they are 26 with a 20% downpayment from their own savings--they already have the 20% saved, even if you discount any of our assistance (beyond the getting your apartment set up when you graduate college).  Assuming they marry someone who makes at least $50K, they will be able to provide well for a family on their own.  And yes, private schools are "extras".  I attended public schools, often not in the best areas---I grew up poor.  Yet, somehow I turned out fine and very successful.  And their kids would be able to attend college, my kid would be able to save  for that on their own, it just might be State U rather than T10.

So yes, they are privileged, but they are still working hard to provide well for themselves and future family (if that happens).  Yes, they will live nicer because they don't have to stress about how to pay for college, but they will be making an income that would allow them to save if needed. And they live rather modestly already.  
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