Reply to Feeling hurt when other people fall apart over their elderly ailing parents while mine died young

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]1999. That is the important part here, people. OP is acting totally insane.[/quote]

I am the OP. Why is the year of my mom's death relevant when I still haven't found closure?

My mom was completely unable to talk about her diagnosis (malignant cancer which turned out to be terminal) to anyone which made things worse I think.
There was no real 'goodbye'.

[/quote]

The year is relevant because ideally, grief evolves over time.  You sound stuck.

I felt like you felt in the first year after my brother was murdered as a young adult.  I remember DH's grandfather dying soon after and I couldn't muster any sympathy.  And as you describe, I found the grief of others around an elderly person annoying.

But I had lots of therapy and those feelings passed.  Now I don't feel that way at all and I haven't in a long time.  If you want to stay where you are with your grief that's your perogative, but you are making a choice.  You can still love and mourn your parents but find ways to move forward in your life, and not feel what you describe feeling now.[/quote]

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