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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP — I do want to say I admire your ability to pivot now that you have this feedback. It seems like your DH has likely totally misread this situation as well. I will say that you may want to consider if you have other blind spots where you are not putting yourself in someone else’s shoes or if this is limited to your ILS.

I also think you need to consider more broadly what “hosting” means. For example my ILS live close by and probably try to come by our house every third weekend. When this happens, I feel zero obligation to host. If I’m busy at work, I might stay up in my office. If I had a pedicure scheduled, I would not change it. Now, there are plenty of times I do hang out with them. But not every time.

If my family came and stayed with me for a week, I sure would not sit around talking to them all day and organizing three meals a day for them. There would be food in the house that they are welcome to and some meals would be organized. But I don’t have to constantly entertain my family for 7 days.

People have different definitions of what family visiting looks like. You sort of sound like the parents that many people on here complain about that need 16 hours a day of focus. Many people don’t want to hang with a visitor for days on end. That doesn’t make them rude, etc.[/quote]

+100. I hate the notion that a visit = holding your hosts hostage. When my ILs and parents and siblings/siblings-in-law visit, it is welcome to our home; fall in. We are still doing many of our activities; with social invitations, it is case-by-case. If you are staying a few hours or for ONE night, of course we give you as much focused attention as we can. If you are parking it in our home for 2-6 nights, welcome, but fall in. We'll hang out with you, but not every second of every day. Some meals will be lovingly prepared for you and/or purchased for you and/or we will take you out to dinner. But no, I won't be setting out every conceivable lunch option, as my ILs expect, for every lunch. Make yourself a sandwich.[/quote]

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