Reply to Anyone else here struggle with your feelings about ppl who don’t work?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

I don't struggle with my feelings.  I'm very comfortable judging them.

Our society functions because people work.  Those who choose not to work are riding on the coattails of those who do.  Most/all of them have value to add to society, yet they decline to do so.  That's selfish.

There's a lot of grey space in this perception.  Some SAHM/Ds are contributing through the legitimate care of their young or SN kids while others are somehow okay justifying their days of yoga and book clubs by pointing to their clean house and transportation of middle-schoolers to soccer practice - things the rest of us do on top of full time employment.  Some wealthy unemployed dedicate their lives to worthy causes, while others post on IG for clout.

I don't think this is a matter for therapy.  It's okay to judge poor behavior.  And enjoying the benefits of our society/culture/country while failing to contribute is exactly that.[/quote]

Judge away but you have no idea why people make the choices they do. Maybe one spouse works tons of hours with no flexibility and the family prefers one person to stay home. Maybe some people judge those who outsource everything and act like it’s the same as staying home. There are people who think that’s poor behavior, too. Maybe some people actually like a lower key lifestyle and accept the financial hits that come from that. Maybe some people have family issues/illnesses that you know nothing about. Lots of times those are the ones who do the most outward posting. Bottom line is different things work for different people.  [/quote]

Like I said, there is plenty of grey area.  And I tend to not judge where I don't have adequate visibility.  [b]But I know plenty of SAHP - mostly moms - who are sitting on expensive educations that they've never really used because they favor lattes and yoga instead of work.
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[quote=Anonymous][quote]I don't struggle with my feelings. I'm very comfortable judging them.[/quote]

Okay loser, no one cares about your judgment.  [/quote]

I hope they don't.  I'm certainly not broadcasting it to them.

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

I don't struggle with my feelings.  I'm very comfortable judging them.

I don't think this is a matter for therapy.  It's okay to judge poor behavior.  And enjoying the benefits of our society/culture/country while failing to contribute is exactly that.[/quote]

That’s just ridiculous. There are many ways to contribute to society. When I stayed at home, I volunteered a great deal. I do think this kind of rigid thinking and judgment is rooted in something else. I don’t think PP is merely a jerk.[/quote]

What you've described is exactly what I've described.  You're defending yourself by detailing substantial volunteer work - which tells me that you also value people who contribute to society instead of sitting on their asses.  Sounds like we're of the same mind.[/quote]

If a life of leisure makes them happy, why do you care? Care about your own choices. I find work fulfilling and don't enjoy too much time in the house. Life is short, to each her own![/quote]

Because that's not how society works. There are no impactless decisions - our lives are all complexly intertwined.  And we shouldn't look kindly upon those who take without contributing.[/quote]

Arguably the single biggest contribution one can make to society is raising healthy, well-adjusted children who will themselves contribute when they come of age. Some working parents are able to do that in addition to work. Others believe it is a FT endeavor, and simply make different choices in their lives. Yes, of course it's complex and there are usually trade-offs either way.[/quote]

But why is it more important that your kids contribute than that YOU contribute? You were once a kid that someone took time to raise [/quote]

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