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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP - Is this kind of behavior unusual for your DD? If she is usually one to turn things in and handle responsibilities independently, then something deeper might be going on with this college process, perhaps fear or uncertainty.  If, all along, you suspected she would procrastinate and need a lot of help with this process, it may be a sign that she is not ready to go off far from home and handle the rigors of 4-year college next year.  There is no shame in that. All kids develop in their own time.  However, when the dust has settled on Jan. 4, it feels a heart-to-heart is needed to figure out what's going on here.  Good luck.  [/quote]

Again, many parents disagree with that.

There can be ADHD going on, but it doesn't mean that all students with ADHD need to head straight to community college. Plenty of kids with executive function issues do well in selective colleges, and do well in the workforce and in their private lives, but if they're significantly impacted, they need medication and support from their school then the college's disability office. It's why these meds and structures exist!!!

Maybe it's anxiety, not ADHD. Maybe there's something else going on.

It's a HUGE overreaction to drastically change the course of a young person's life by shuffling them off the expected path, just because the parent did not accompany their kid in the college application process, or the kid adamantly refused parental supervision.

Yes, I said it. These days applications are so complex (even with the Common App), and college entry so competitive, that MOST SENIORS CANNOT DO IT ALL THEMSELVES.
Parents who don't know or accept this are sabotaging their children.

I am not blaming parents, mind. I am blaming a ridiculous system that exists nowhere else in the world, where every college makes their own rules, there are multiple moving parts and multiple actors the students depend on. Recommenders sometimes don't come through; school counselors sometimes don't write their letter; high schools may ask for 3 weeks lead time to send transcripts, so last-minute new apps can't be sent on time; tests scores, if requested for specific colleges after the test date, need at least two weeks to arrive (three during the Holidays); deadlines are not the same for every college; a lot of colleges request mid-year transcripts, and that's another deadline; beyond the personal statement, most colleges require a supplemental essay, and they do their best to have an original question so the student can't just copy and paste from another app...

I don't know of a SINGLE 17 year old who was able to do all this by themselves. And I know some very intelligent, organized, college-focused 17 year olds!

I know some seasoned adults who would struggle if they had to do all that juggling on top of a regular work day, chores and sports (or whatever activities).

All the criticism you've unleashed on teens suffering through this process would be better served by demanding a complete overhaul of college admissions. The rest of the world does it differently. It's not like there aren't any other options!

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