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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, thanks for all the comments. A couple thoughts:

1. I am in therapy. I have been in therapy since our first was stillborn
2. He is not interested in attending couple's counseling, so I intend to go alone.
3. I do realize hindsight is 20/20. If I go back I obviously would change my circumstances. I thought he would slow down on how much he was going out with his friends and his video game habit. Instead what has happened was he stays up all night and tries to take care of the baby the next day and refuses to accept that he is an irritable person because he has slept 4 hours. He is interested in short term satisfaction. Wants to watch sports all the time, hang out with his friends all the time, and take care of baby.
4. None of our friends (besides 1) have children. Most of the men he hangs out with are single and/or not married. So I know he feels left out in his friend group.
5. He is selfish and stubborn. 
6. I do not want to get divorced but I absolutely cannot stay in this marriage like this. I am miserable. I have had a really challenging couple years in-between our loss and all the trauma surrounding that, and now basically taking care of the baby mostly alone, including attending family events alone. I just want to be happy and I feel miserable. I don't know what to do if he is not interested in counseling. I just don't know what to do.[/quote]

I’d give the divorce ultimatum. Couples therapy plus cutting way back on time away from his family or you want to separate. Of course, you have to be prepared for the fact that he might prefer to separate. I’m sorry you are going through this. [/quote]

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