Reply to Bar mitzvah invitation expectations/etiquette

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is how I spent 8th grade Saturdays, just like how going to weddings was how I spent a decade of prime weekends (so many lost Memorial Day weekends!) in my 20s and early 30s. But there were certain friends during that period in my life who were notorious no-shows at weddings and were always last-minute yeses or nos depending on what better things might come up.

I think there are two camps of people chiming in on this thread: people who see these big events as true rites and an important and essential part of human life, and people who are pretty meh on them and see them as interchangeable with any other activities…until people RSVP no to their own event.[/quote]

It is possible to see them as big events for the kid and their family but not as big events for every person who gets an invitation.  A kid who isn't Jewish and therefore has no BM of their own or of their family members' to attend is only going to have a handful of must-accepts. The rest can absolutely be skipped for other commitments, tricky logistics, or just not feeling it.

And when these kids grow up and get invited to destination weddings, they'll be free to skip those, too[/quote]

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