Reply to DH put hands on 8 y/o son's neck

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "DH put hands on 8 y/o son's neck"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Everyone in this thread is massively overreacting [/quote]

So...it's okay for a father to cuss at an 8 year old and to grab the same 8 yo by the throat and toss them onto a bed? My kids are 13 and 15 and we have never even come close to cussing them and have never been violent to them.[/quote]

Saying the f-word at your children is completely unacceptable and a line that should never be crossed.[/quote]

You read through this thread and all of the people saying "you're overreacting!" and you realize why we have so many young men shooting up this country. Everything is an overreaction till it isn't. OP these are giant flaming red flags. Please make changes for your children's sake. [/quote]

Or you realize that so many young men are not give ANY pushback to violence when they're growing up, so they think violence is okay. He swung at his father. His father pushed him away. I think that's justified. Don't teach your kids the world will treat everything they do as a "teachable moment." Sometime they get back what they deserve, on a gut level.[/quote]
+1. I think this thread is full of women that find a more overtly masculine-style parenting of man to boy to be too scary and dangerous and want to shelter the boy, even if it means calling CPS on your own husband. Which ironically enough feeds even more into the school shooter phenomenon than having your dad drop an F bomb on you when you’re acting up ever did.[/quote]

Keep telling yourself that. DH is a former D1 athlete, has never touched our children. I'm from a military family, men in my family don't discipline with their hands. If you feel the need to put your hands on an 8 year old's neck to teach them a lesson, that's not masculine, that's weakness. [/quote]

Did you even read the post? He wasn't disciplining him -- he was pushing away a kid who was swinging at him.[/quote]

NP
   What you're missing is as a man a full grown man there is no threat of any kind from an 8-year-old. That means I'm so much stronger than you and bigger than you that I can gently grab your hands hold them both in one hand and politely explain to you why you don't hit Daddy. If the kid was swinging a metal rod then it would be a different story. I would still never grab my son by the throat even just to make a point which is I'm sure part of what happened but it would be a different story.

The reason a lot of us posters have brought up cursing is the fact that it shows a lack of control. I say this as a kid who was beaten as a child. When the belt came out it was never a sudden flash of anger proceeded by a curse word. It was hey you didn't do XYZ in school you have been warned several times. Proceed upstairs for your discipline three solid strikes and out.  Mind you I also used to bite my dad full force while wrestling, At most he got annoyed and walked away one time.

OP's DH lacks that sort of self control which to me is a man is kind of frightening because we are so much bigger and stronger than a child that if we really get angry for a second and lose it a lot of damage can be done very fast. I'm not going to say that she needs to immediately divorce the guy but there needs to be some kind of counseling. My DW and I don't strike our child under any circumstances, because I was raised differently I had to learn some different tools. For me because I do have a lot of self control reading a book and following a few people on Instagram that deal in gentle parenting was sufficient to provide me a set of tools with which to work with. This dude needs more than that cursing at this child was your first clue the hands on the neck even though there's no choke supposedly. Perhaps it was just a simple lift and toss and he did throw him on the bed which means he was concerned with how his kid landed so I'm not going to scream divorce like some of these people are. That said, this needs to be your family's come to Jesus moment. Also I would try talking with your husband and trying to discern does he consider himself to be fully in control in these moments or is he one of those people that claims "oh, I saw red" (he's in full control no matter what, it's his perspective that is of importance).

But seriously just take a 30,000 ft view on this thing. How many men have to grab and hit your old by the neck because of a couple swings??? As I said in the earlier post the day I do that is the day I turn in my man card.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics