Reply to If my teenager gets a job during his time with Dad . . .

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Reply to "If my teenager gets a job during his time with Dad . . . "

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]That poster that keeps insisting you made the kid find a job is a troll and a misogynistic one. Ignore.[/quote]

It's actually kind of useful for me to see his responses.  You see, my kids father can also be a misogynistic idiot with very limited reading comprehension.  So, it's helpful to be able to understand the ways he might be misunderstanding a situation.

-- OP[/quote]

You clearly hate men and don't want your child to have a relationship with Dad or it would have been a no from the start.  You agreed to the job and wanted him to say no.  You did the bad parenting, not him.  He had no choice but to support your decision.  There was no misunderstanding.  You said to look and get a job, the kid did.  You counted on none allowing the schedule as a way to say no and it backfired on you.  So, now you blame Dad for supporting your decision vs. taking responsibility.  You failed, not him.  You won but stopped the visit.  Yea you.[/quote]

I told him that that he couldn't get a job that conflicted with his commitments and named both his scheduled time with Dad, and the activities that Dad insists he do as commitments.  How that's me saying "yes" I don't know.

[/quote]

Then, where is the issue.  It conflicts with dads time so you tell he he cannot work during those hours and tell him the hours he can work.  You are putting it on dad to say no. You are the primary parent who agreed to a job so you need to enforce the rules.  Dad cannot do that with a weekly visit.  It would be wrong of him to say no when you are saying yes. [/quote]

I did tell him that.  I said you can not get a job that conflicts with your commitment to seeing your Dad on Sundays.  That is literally what I told him.  I said you can only work if you can find a job that is on the weekend (due to sports and HW) and doesn't interfere with sporting competitions (various times on Saturday) church, or your visit with Dad.  [/quote]

So, what is the issue?  You are creating drama.  You said no, kid talked to Dad who probably didn't know you said that and said yes, to support you and the kid took the job or wants to take the job.  It interferes with visitation so you should say no.  But, instead, you let him take the job so there is no issue anymore.  It makes no sense to say to find one given that kind of schedule.  He can work summers.  What are you looking for except to vilify Dad as the bad one when you should never have allowed a school year job in the first place.[/quote]

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