Reply to SIL emotionally dependent on our family

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yikes. I have a never-married, no kids sitter who relies a lot on my family for emotional and some financial support. I admit there are times I’d rather spend a holiday with just DH and the kids but my sister has nobody else. And she gets so much joy out of hanging with my kids, even now as tweens. I can relate to OP but I also think you sound mean OP. Put yourself in her shoes.

And spinster?! Come on. Any of us could have ended up there. [/quote]
DP,

Give me a break . I have lots of friends in their 40’s and 50’s who have never married and do not have kids. Most have thriving careers, busy jobs, Some Are retired early and most are  very active in various organizations,  clubs, and have hobbies. Right now a group of them are traveling around the world together. having fun so everybody who has never married or doesn’t have kids is not sitting up sucking off the teat of their family is the only focus of their life enjoyment.
These people need to grow up and get a life.[/quote]

“ sucking off the teat of their family”

What an absolutely weird way to discuss family spending time together.[/quote]
That’s what it is, it’s not spending time, it’s dependency. There is a difference.[/quote]

There's nothing wrong with being dependent on family. What have we come to when direct siblings are over stepping by depending on each other -- over the holidays no less. What a bizarre attitude.[/quote]

Enjoying time together, liking to spend time together, and valuing time spent together is not “dependence.”

My siblings and parents and I enjoy and value time together. We like it. We choose it.

We do not use family as a crutch to fill holidays because we haven’t developed other healthy relationships—with significant others, friends, neighbors, coworkers, volunteer organizations, churches, community groups, etc., etc. [/quote]

Imagine thinking of family as a crutch DURING the HOLIDAYS because you haven’t developed relationships with your coworkers, neighbors, and volunteer groups.[/quote]

If you invest no time, effort or care into your family for 363 days a year, please GTFO with expecting them to stay in town instead of going on vacation just to be with your miserable arse on the holidays. We’re talking you turn down invitations to dinners, outings, other family events like birthdays or baptisms, don’t respond to texts, don’t participate in care of elderly parents, etc. Your family doesn’t exist to be props on Thanksgiving and Christmas.[/quote]

Have fun with your strawman![/quote]

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