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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have an only child by choice. It was the best thing I ever did for our family. I would not be happy with two, even if the second were as easy as the first.[/quote]

Wait… so it’s ok for you to say that you would not be happy with more kids, but not ok for parents of 2+ to say that they would never want to have only 1?[/quote]

DP, but hold on right there. There's a BIG difference between saying YOU the parent would not be happy, and saying your CHILDREN are less happy or have less rich lives. 99.9% of the time people with 2+ say they would never want to have "only one" BECAUSE only children are lonely/selfish/alone after their parents die/missing out on foundational life experiences and relationships. If you said "I love kids and want to raise a gaggle, so I'd never be happy stopping at one," that's one thing. But that's just not what people actually say when they're having these conversations based on the dozens of times I've had it over the years.

See the difference?[/quote]

The reason why I had more children it’s because I think my (and my kids’) life is better with more kids. This is my opinion based on my priorities. I never pretend to speak for anyone else. My kids (and I) are actually poorer in some ways than if I only had one. Financially for example. I am poorer because I have to pay 3 tuitions, 3 sets of activities, 3 plane tickets, etc. Given my HHI I am probably still richer than some families with 1 kid.

Same applies to time. I have a nanny and a flexible job so while my kids keep me busier than if I only had 1, I might still have more time than single moms that work 2 jobs and have no help even if they only have 1 kid.

Everything is relative to MY situation and MY life. In MY opinion MY kids’s lives are richer from having siblings than from having an extra play date or activity or an extra  hour alone with their parents per week. 
If I had 2 jobs and no help I would probably think my kids lives would be richer if they were onlies because they would be able to have more of everything. Same applies to other priorities/needs of course. If I appreciated quietness, alone time, if I were introverted, etc. I would probably prefer to have only one or even perhaps not kids at all.

I was lucky I was able to have the family I wanted when others are not. Families that only wanted 1, but end up with twins or surprise baby, families that wanted kids, but for one reason or another can’t have kids, etc.

[/quote]

TBH, I would never want 3 children. Parents with 3+ think children need a lot less parenting than they really do. Your children need you, not a nanny and each other as a substitute. You'll never be able to make up for their lack of time and attention from their parents, but you comfort yourself that they have each other and "enough" of you. There's nothing you can do about it now, but I'm sorry for your children.[/quote]

Oh ok… how is it ok for you to say all of this? but not ok to say that siblings bring some kind of richness to kids’ lives?  live a much poorer life? Don’t worry about my children. They get “enough” of me… your probably gets too much though[/quote]

Well, anyone who thinks that parents of multiples aren’t just as knee-jerk defensive as parents of onlies has just been set straight. [/quote]

Nope, I did not offend the PP or replied to the same level… nice try[/quote]

How did that comment feel, PP? Stung and raised your hackles, right? I'm the PP that made that comment and you know, I don't believe it at all actually. I admit to some stereotypes about very big families, which is what I put in my reply, but I don't actually think 3 kids is too many to parent well (for many people who choose to have three). But see how it hurts when someone gives an "in MY opinion" condemnation of your family and parenting? People with 1 or 5 kids hear it all the time. You with your standard 2-3 children don't. So before you tell the next person YOUR opinion about what you think about YOUR family (and only your family, right? Despite what it means for the person standing in front of you listening to your opinions), maybe stop and think about how it felt. [/quote]

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