Reply to Boyfriend is NOT a planner- do you have this dynamic?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DH is like this. We've been married for 10 years. He's not a man baby. He does a ton of household and kid stuff every day. But he just doesn't seem to feel like planning fun stuff is high in the list of urgency. Mostly, at this point, I do it, because clearly i care more whether we have the plans. The exception is when it's specifically something for his friends or family, then I tell him he has to do it or we just won't go. [/quote]

+!. This is us. My husband does tons of day to day stuff, but I'm the vacation/holiday/birthday/social event planner. I used to resent it. But I have accepted that this is who he is, and it has its plusses for me -- I get to pick what looks fun. He never objects and is pretty flexible when it comes to what I'd like to do. Sometimes that kind of pairing works. He rarely gets his act together to book things that he wants to do but I might not, which is fine with me.

I do not plan certain things -- Mother's Day, my birthday, holidays in his religious tradition, things for his friends and family. He's on his own for those.

OP, I think this comes down to love languages and compatibility. If you're someone who feels cared for when another person puts together a whole itinerary and spends time and effort researching the best things to do and is very on top of booking, then this isn't going to work for you. If you can accept the other things he offers as his love and not take personally the fact that this is how he rolls, then do so. He obviously does not prioritize having the best place to stay in, eating a fantastic meal, doing special activities. For him a fun weekend might be lowkey and just having time hanging out and having fun in a new place. This isn't bad -- just different. Only you know if you can live with that.[/quote]

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