Reply to What do you do when your adult child goes into therapy and lays blame at your feet.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is always the parents fault and I am not being sarcastic.[/quote]

Op here, I will say that DH was my most challenging kid. [b]He was headstrong and demanding from the time he was a baby. He was rarely content and cried a lot as a baby. He fought potty training and putting on clothes. I would dress him, he would take it off.[/b]  If we wanted him do his chores, he would argue about why it was unfair or he shouldn't have to do it - for a much longer time than the chore would take. He dropped out of college and blamed us because shouldn't have made him go in the first place. This is his personality.[/quote]

Right up until my mother died she would throw in my face how I cried a lot as a baby and never wanted her to rock me. As if I was being mean to her, as if I should apologize for how I was as a BABY and TODDLER. Please do not do this to your son.[/quote]

I don't think you heard your mother...she was traumatized that baby you couldn't be soothed and you rejected her affection. New mothers are deeply in love with their babies and their emotions are so huge. She was expressing her pain and feelings of failure, that's deep. She talked about it until she died. Wow you missed that signal.[/quote]

Hard disagree. It's something for the mother to discuss in therapy and friends, not her child. My mom always recounts how I had colic for a year, and how hard that was. But, she never once has related to it as a rejection of her or anything more than a fluke. Which is what it is. I'm sorry to the PP (above you) that you had to bear the brunt of that. [/quote]

A colicicky baby can give a parent PTSD. It can cause mental health issues.  It doesn't just fade in your memory.[/quote]

Then the parent should seek help, not hold a grudge against their BABY. [/quote]

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