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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow, the date could have been 2002 on this thread and I wouldn’t have blinked. My brother *should* have dropped out of CMU way back then, and a good 25% of his friends from freshman year did, including his roommate. He did everything possible to try to make it fun- fraternity, booth & buggy, girlfriend, study abroad- but it wasn’t very effective. I visited often but never got a good feel for the school. There were so many beautiful common spaces that were lifeless.

The good thing is that now with Covid disruptions and gap years, no one bats an eye at a year off or a transfer. It is simply not a big deal. It truly isn’t. Don’t let fear of the dropout label stop your child from making the choice that is right for them.[/quote]

This is OP.  Thank you.

As I've said before, my DS has nothing but positive things to say about CMU.  It is an exceptional place for hard working AND talented students, it is just NOT the place FOR HIM.  He gave it a try and it just didn't work out.

I told DS that whatever he decides to do, I am going to be OK with it because it is his life, not mine.  Unless he asks for my advice, I am going to stay in my lane.[/quote]

[b]OP---It' takes a lot to step back and say you made a mistake and it's not the place for you.  Your son is mature and has done just that.  More importantly he's done it before his mental health declines and his grades plummet.  He's got this, he will regroup and find a better fit for himself. The fact he's doing this all himself is impressive.  [/b]
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Backing away from a tough challenge that is also an AMAZING opportunity (almost everyone in the country would KILL to go to CMU for CS) is NOT mature or impressive at all in my book.

OP, if I were you, I'd try to make sure my kid stays at CMU CS no matter what. Having a CS degree from there will brand you for life, no matter the kid's damage to their "mental health" or whatever. I'm also the OP of this thread:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1067220.page

I think the posters on this thread, as with the American population at large, are WAY too lenient on their kids and discourage resilience and grit by letting their kid back away from tough challenges. I'd rather have my kid get a CS degree from CMU with depression and anxiety and an unhappy 4 years (but a lifetime of financial rewards as evidenced by CMU CS's median earnings) than letting them back away from a challenge like this.

OP, show your kid that you have faith in him! How is he supposed to believe in himself when you won't even believe in him to complete tough challenges?!!!![/quote]

You would rather your kid be depressed and anxious so they can have a certain status? This so messed up. He can have plenty of the financial independence and still the prestige you seek while not being miserable at UVA or tech. He’ll still have access to great jobs. You can push your kid when they need it without actually pushing them over the edge which is what you’re suggesting. I truly truly do not understand this. [/quote]

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