Reply to S/O: Dud children

Forum Index » Adult Children

Reply to "S/O: Dud children"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There are two posts in the relationship forum re: dud husbands/wives, so I thought I'd start one here for dud children. Anyone willing to admit they have dud adult kids? I married a dud (divorced), and I feel like my kids are turning out to be dud'ish like him. It makes me so sad because I suspect that dud-like behavior is hereditary. For the record, three boys, 20, 22 and 26. [/quote]

Not sure if this is a troll post...but if it isn't, OP-would you feel the same way about your kids if they were three girls? Also, they are still young and lots of young folks are not fully ripened yet. It seems early to decide they are 'duds'. I have 4 of my 6 kids in their 20's and there is a huge difference between 20 and 30.[/quote]

Op here, and no this is not at all a troll post. And yes, if they were girls, dudness would likely be more pronounced since society is harder on women. I'm not being hard on my kids; I am calling a spade a spade. They are very similar to my ex as far as low ambition and pulling teeth to get small tasks completed.

I started the s/o thread to attack/identify the root of the problem: Dud adults/spouses were once somebody's dud children. The problem with assigning youth as an excuse is that the husbands and wives who are current duds were likely that way in their 20's too.  I am certain their parents saw it and happily married the kids off to be someone else's problem. No way in hell dud-ways first emerge in a marriage. If you are married to a dud, you were dud-duped.[/quote]

Off topic- but I see the sentiment of “parents happily marrying off” their problem child to “be someone else’s” problem on DCUM frequently. As though in the US we have arranged marriages! [b]What do parents have to do with their kids’ spouses deciding to marry them[/b]? [/quote]

My in-laws support my SIL (their daughter) and her DH.  The DH is not ambitious, and the in-laws totally enable him not to work because they are wealthy, want their daughter who has never worked a day in her life (and was childless until 40) to live at the standard to which she's been accustomed, and just pay for everything.  My SIL is a monster and her DH is a nice guy, who, factoring out the money part, does whatever she wants.  It doesn't feel like a real marriage to me.  They have separate bedrooms and seem to spend more time apart than together.  I do wonder if my in-laws saw him as someone willing to take the trade of catering to her every whim and taking her abuse if they provided financially.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics