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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just don't go to the dinner - no big deal. It's a dinner for whatever family happens to be in town. That's all. [/quote]

This. It’s not a summons. Drive Friday. [/quote]

This. I don't understand why people feel like an invitation is a demand. It's an invitation. It sounds like a lovely gesture and I'd let the bride's parents know that it was very nice of them to invite you and your family, but you aren't arriving until Friday night and you look forward to meeting them at the wedding. [/quote]

True.  But it's family.  It's a nice gesture, and weddings are big events.  What are OP's husband and kids doing that's so important that they can't take an extra day to attend a wedding of their BIL/Uncle?  Not much, I imagine.[/quote]

Who is this poster?? Stop. Just because “it’s family” doesn’t mean that you should drag 2 kids to spend 2 full days of driving for a 1 hour ceremony. That’s really nuts. [/quote]

It’s a wedding.  Some people value family.  The ceremony is the important part -the kids can attend.  Op doesn’t have to bring them for the future in law dinner if she’s worrying about missing an extra day of school.  I had tweens/teens attend my wedding even though they missed school and I appreciated it.  And 10 years later I attended their weddings with my kids even though I had kids in school.  That’s what families do.[/quote]

But in this case the kids aren't welcome at the reception. To many of us, that IS the most important part.[/quote]

I didn’t grow up attending a lot of receptions but I did go to a good number of church and temple ceremonies.   It was always a good time to connect with cousins/family friends etc. even when I did go to a reception as a kid we usually left around 9 cause we were kids…[/quote]

I’ve never found this to be the case.  I’m Protestant for one thing and our ceremonies are quite short. You have to be quiet in the chapel, and people leave for the wedding reception fairly quickly following the service.  The time for catching up with relatives is either the rehearsal dinner, or the reception, not the ceremony itself.[/quote]

I'm Catholic and went to all of the receptions. I agree with pp, the ceremony wasn't a time to catch up. [/quote]

Your experiences aren’t universal.  Of course people chat as they get seats, stand in the reception line and hang out around the church.  And for Jewish and Hindu ceremonies which are much longer-there’s even more time to engage.  [/quote]

Reception lines aren't universal.  And I still wouldn't travel with my kids just for them to attend a ceremony even if there was time for some minimal interaction.  The kids wouldn't get anything out of it and would likely to be more bummed that they then had to go back and sit in a hotel with some rando babysitter.  Local would be a different story- I certainly attended a couple wedding ceremonies like this as a kid but it was all local family.[/quote]

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