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[quote=Anonymous]OP what worked for us was to have our child come up with a proposed monthly budget with rough breakdowns of what he thought he'd be spending it on (so not just a lump sum proposal), and justify it to us.  That led to a good conversation about where we thought he was under or overestimating the cost of things, and a discussion about what categories of things we'd be willing to pay for and what would come out of his own funds (whether earnings or savings).  We took into consideration both what he might need in cash and what he could spend on our Amazon account and credit card.

Then he tracked his spending to see how accurate his budget was, and we adjusted accordingly.  Overall, he was pretty on point.

Like many posters, I was on my own for all spending money in college.  My parents paid room and board and for their part of tuition after financial aid, and I am very grateful for that because it was a huge sacrifice for them, and I was proud to pay my own way.  But it was also a hardship for me and my job took time from my studies and I missed out on a lot of things that I would have liked to do because I couldn't afford it.  I have worked hard in my career so my kids could have better, but at the same time I want them to have the satisfaction of taking care of themselves, so it is really just about finding the right balance that's aligned with your values.  I'll pay for the occasional pizza night or bagel sandwich because yeah, I get he can eat in the dining hall but sometimes it is nice to have a break from that and to get off campus.  And yeah, I'll even pay for a bit of a sushi splurge after finals.  But, I'm not paying for nice restaurant dinners two nights a week.  I have a particular issue with Door Dash/Uber Eats because I think the charges are so expensive as to be ridiculous, so I generally would not pay for that, but if he was really sick or really bogged down for a few days for some reason with school or something I'd be ok with that, but it would be once or twice a semester, and not a regular thing.   [/quote]

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