Reply to MILs only -- and only if you do not like your DIL -- why?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As you grow older, OP, you will realize that all these things that irritate your about your MIL are easily avoided and not worth fighting and thinking about. Read what you wrote and you will see that drama is mutual. You two are feeding off each other. So, just don't answer several phone calls, stop insisting that you are raising your kids to a "higher standard," disappear when dishes are to be done. Don't go on several trips, let you DH and kids go on their own. Let her baby your husband on those few occasions, what harm is there?  You are criticizing her so much, and truly it doesn't seem bad at all.  But, it is good that you are venting. Is she foreign?  Or Italian or Jewish American? It kind of sounds like it. So, my advice, from knowing I am the favorite DIL, just avoid, and nod and let it go. Oh, and parents do play favorites with their own children all the time. [/quote]

This is pretty good advice I think.  Have you read the 'I stopped caring and it helped my marriage thread'?  I think a similar principle would apply here.  Your MIL is entitled to her opinions - stop letting them get to you.  If you visit and she puts you to work, call your husband in to help, or discuss it in advance th him that you're not OK with that dynamic and out him on notice that you expect him to step up.  Or just don't do the work.

My MIL and I got along great, and thankfully we had less issues than y'all, but I know they found it funny some of the things I simply refused to engage in.  Like the yard - it's a disaster but that's my husbands area so not my problem.  If they called me with advice / names of folks I'd just punt it back to DH. If they called because they wanted to talk to me, great, but if it were really something or DH I'd punt the conversation back to him.  Basically you can throw a ball at me, but that doesn't obligate me to catch it, and there are a lot of balls I'm willing to let go splat :)

And I don't hold a grudge.  Letting things go is definitely helpful in all interpersonal relationships.  [/quote]

Can you please link this thread? Thank you![/quote]

That comment is 6 years old.[/quote]

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